i'm sooo deeply sorry :'(

aku,
xtau nk start tang mna
tp as a human
i will never get to make everyone satisfied

sometimes, we have to think about ourselves first
before other people
its not because we don't want to help them
tp, kita xyahla trus bersetuju
siasat dulu apa sbb depa mintak tlg gitu gini

bkn apa, klu alasan cm x munasabah,
and kita dh tau apa efek akan brlaku klu kita still gak tlg
better we use our power to stop them
yes we have the power
why dont we use that
and let people in

as for me,
one of my fren asked me for a help
yes she always be there for me when I ask her to help me
and I never forget that..I will never forget that

there's two things that I can't help people
first, of course money
second, to stay with me
other than that,insyaAllah, i will try my best to help u

this house is belong to my big bro
and everytime he come home he always stay here
my mom also, when she has free time she will come stay along with me
quite long time laa
and this house is kind of low cost only

not suitable for my big family but suit to my big bro family
right now I stay with my cousin
and we sleep together in the master room
the other bedroom now become a store

this house now only has two rooms
after my big bro renovated it last year
so how she can stay with us??
u tell me

its not about the matter of the size of house,
but its about family's house
she has to understand that

it will become so awkward when she's in here and my family also here
i know that she's not good enough and my family too
even noone good enough in this world
the truth is, i cant put my fren and my family altogether
this thing really make me mess
and i dont want to stress

since im working, i really dont want to make myself so stress
because i got a lot of things to think
and i dont want to make it heavier now

now is different
when i was a student, the stress that i felt was not too hard
just like im being through now

to my friend,(u know who u are)
I'M SOOO DEEPLY SORRY :'(
i cant help u
i hope u understand what i meant
i just want to build my new life without anyone from my past
my past time that i think the WORST thing i've been through my whole life

sunyi la pulak

i'm lonely
hr tu gatai sgt dok runaway
skarang amik hg
suma org buat bolayan gila2 balik
padan muka!
huwaaaaaaaaa

tp, i think ada kbaikan gak kot
buleh aku concentrait ngn life aku sat
klu asyik dok bersosial pon x best gak
money will run like water

so better alone now
tapi, series kali ni depa buat sungguh kt aku
aku xtau apala depa dok kutuk
tp yg pasti,
rmai dh smakin melupakan aku
huhuhu

camna klu depa trus mnerus lupakan aku?
ah lantakla
aku x paksa
bg aku, klu jd gitu, buat gini

tp klu bab memaksa, no way for me okay
im not that kind

xpala...
la ni, fokus pd harta
beli harta byk2 dulu
and fren will come after that
muahahah

klu x come gak,
its up to you
just build a family
thats better

and live with your husband and kids
happily ever after
hahahha

positif x aku?

aku belum bersedia

kemarin aku dikejutkan dengan pemberitahuan kak2 kt pjabat
depa nk kenenkan aku ngn seorang bdk laki ni
si mamat tu kerja sepangkat ngn aku gakla
kerani kewangan jugak

orang sik
bapak dia bekas ketua kerani kat pjabat aku
alkisahnya, budak laki tu apa pon xtau
ni kes org2 tua nk kenen2 la

aku lak bila ditanya,cam besa lah
malas lagi laa
depa kata, alah hg kwn2 la dulu

ish aku ni mmg xdak feel lngsung ngn laki
so how
xdak feel bkn brmaksud aku ni les
tp aku mmg x trpikiaq ke arah tu lagi
yg dlm kepala aku sekarang cuma nk kumpul harta

tp aku trpaksa mengiakan sbb aku xmau kt anak makcik sorang lagi tu
sbb aku nk yg klu bleh yg sihat walafiat
aku dh tgk budak laki tu,
not bad la
tp sebaya ngn aku plak dah
dh tu aku lg tua lak tu

padan muka aku
dulu malu sgt ngn laki
blemoih lak tu
klu x bleh dh sorng balak
huwaaaaaa

aku mmg mnyesai x sudah r
sekarang aku cma bleh
hrp org cari

aku klu bleh nk laki yg berpendirian
yg kukuh pegangan apa pon
bertanggungjawab

tp bdk ni nmpak cam budak2
muda dr aku lak tu

em aku xtau nk komen apa dah
blur gila babas

buat perangai

aku igt lagi
taun lps knuri kak tiri aku
aku wt perangai
sbb mak aku mrh aku nk kuaq ngn mmber hr tu
dia jerkah dpn kak ipaq aku
malu beb!

aku wlopon bnda lama
tp bila diingt balik
geram pon ada
ha laa..aku dh besaq beb
x yahla nk mrh2 gitu

kekadang rsa cam jd tempat melepaskan kemarahan pon ada
mmg raya taun lpas plg x best, plg malang dan paling3 lagi lah
tension gila babas bila igt kes tu

bg aku,mak aku x cukup paham who am I sbenaqnya
ntahlaa..aku bkn nk ngada2 habaq kata org x memahami aku ka apa
tp itulah yg aku rasa

aku tau umh yg aku dok ni pon ehsan abg aku
so aku xdak hak nk brlagak lebih atau apa pon
sbb aku x byaq sewa lagi..tunggu gaji naik dulu

tp aku still punya hati dan perasaan
ada ayaq muka yg perlu dijaga
xleh la nk marah aku ikut sedap hati jaa
mcmanala aku nk brfikiran positif klu asyik kna jaa

so start from that, aku rasa aku xmau dh cari2 pasai ngn org
hampa rasa aku ok, go on..rasa x okey, boleh blah
aku mls nk layan
nilah hasilnya klu asyik memalukan aku

n i know, most of people like my sister more than me
its all up to you
i dont care!

now, i just want to make my life happier,perfect n just doing everything i love
if u hate me just stay away from me
dont come any closer
bcuz in the end of the day
the one who will get hurt
is ME!

what will u do?

ok
what will u do when u r not totally agree
with an idea?
me?
just agreed
malas nk berantam
plus with somebody that older than me
just same age with my mom
what more to say

aku mmg xleh buat kerja dgn brhadapan ngn org
biaq dpn aku xdak org xpa
idea gila lah

aku tension nih
tmbah plak kt dpn aku tu
somebody yg tgh mncari calon utk her son
ahh bkn aku nk perasan
tp boleh jd der

xmo sntuh byk ttg itu
sbb byk sntuh kang jd betol
so aku cuma nk luahkan apa
yg trbuku di hati
yg xleh diluahkan kpd sesapa
cuma blog ni mnjdi saksi

aku rsa aku tau tu idea sapa
cuma xtau kesahihan sja
tp mmg aku bleh agaklaa

aku hrp aku dpt bertahan
menahan perasaan
wlpon dlm keadaan yg mmg aku btoi2 x suka

CITA-CITA SAYA

setakat hr ni,
aku dh memiliki

1)tv LCD LG
2)mtr Honda EX5
3)Laptop Acer
4)mesin basuh Sharp
5)kabinet TV
6)set Astro
7)DVD player SONY

on the way...

1)set bilik tidoq
2)tilam spring 8"

still dlm bajet

1)peti ais 2 pintu
2)set sofa L
3)sofa jari/bean bag
4)set meja makan
5)kipas siling(2 bilik)
6)kereta MYVI (premium)

and i hope i can get them by this year because next year i want to focus on my new car!